Here it comes. It’s time to sit down with your manager to go over your annual review. Hopefully, your
organization has adopted a more progressive methodology of performance reviews such as quarterly reviews, weekly one-on-ones, and a culture of in-the-moment feedback so that the dialogue contained in the year-end review is not a big surprise.
Regardless of the approach your company takes, receiving feedback is always uncomfortable and stressful. Not exactly what anyone needs right now as you are trying to wrap up the year on a positive note and get ready to hit the ground running in 2024.
Last week during an intense leadership development program, we focused on developing the skills of giving Coaching and feedback. We used a digital business leadership simulation to provide participants with the chance to practice and learn by doing. Toward the end of the session, one of our participants who was very pleased with the session asked about skills related to receiving feedback, especially this time of year. We spent some really good time talking about practical best practices so I wanted to share with the readers of this blog the interesting work we came up with.
Here are the 5 tips for how to successfully receive feedback:
Start with an open, positive mindset – The most important thing to do at the beginning of the process is to truly understand that receiving feedback is an incredible opportunity for growth. Great leaders who are training on giving feedback want to see you succeed and want to help you grow. Embrace that. Understand that in the right situations, receiving feedback is not a negative, “attack” on you, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow.
Execute the best practices of Active Listening – If you start with the right mindset, then the next step is to practice active listening. Active listening means hearing the words that are spoken, taking good notes, asking clarifying questions, and most importantly asking for real-world examples of behaviors that need adjustment so that you can better understand the feedback.
Stay calm, focused, and unemotional – This is the hardest part. It is easy to get defensive and want to argue and say that the person giving you the feedback is wrong. Again, if the person giving you the feedback is a great leader, there is a real and practical reason they are giving you the feedback. Accept it and deal with it in a mature and safe way. It is critical to separate your emotions from the feedback.
Be gracious and thank the person for the feedback – We have all heard the overused term that, “Feedback is a gift.” Although it’s easy to be sarcastic and make fun of that term, at the end of the day feedback from a leader who really cares truly is a gift. If you express gratitude and appreciation for the feedback, it shows that you are willing to hear it, receive it, and most importantly, do something about it.
Take action and communicate back to the people giving you feedback – Receiving great feedback and then doing nothing with it is of course a huge waste of time and takes value away from the business. It is extremely important to reflect on the feedback and take real and practical actions to incorporate it into your daily work. Once you have figured out what you are going to do and how you are going to do it, it is imperative that you communicate your plans with the people who gave you feedback so they know you are serious and can offer you support.
In summary, the science of giving and receiving feedback is one of the most important processes in any organization. Giving feedback is hard, but receiving feedback is harder. How you receive the feedback and what you do with it may be the difference between achieving your long-term goals and missing them.
