I got this email the other day. It’s not a joke. It’s a real email. I’ll let you read it, then I’ll share my two cents.

Hi Jim,

I’ll be honest, this is not “another sales pitch” from Sales 🙂 Instead, I’d like to send you a 2-minute demo video of Gainsight’s Customer Success Management solution: http://vimeo.com/63709432

We are VC backed ($9M Series A) by Battery Ventures and our key customers include Marketo, DocuSign, Xactly, Jive, Informatica, YouSendIt, etc.

One of our core value props is “Success for All” and we would like to offer everyone a 1-on-1 with our Customer Success experts to simply discuss best practices (reducing churn, structuring your customer-focused team, increasing up-sells, etc).

Who is the best person to speak with about Customer Success? Let us know if there’s someone else who heads up those efforts.

Non Sales Person

The email states it’s not another sales pitch but it is and I’m gonna break it down so no one in this community makes this brutal mistake.

I’ll be honest, Really? Right out of the gate this rep makes a promise she is NOT going to keep.  This makes me uncomfortable AND calls into question her integrity, when she’s actually trying to tell me on her honesty. this is not “another sales pitch” from Sales 🙂 -Yes it is. It’s one 100% a sales pitch and she is in sales. Her title is account development manager.  She asking me to give up my time to read this email and check out her video about her company Gainsights. That IS sales. There is nothing in it for me. It’s a one sided transaction, which makes it bad sales. Instead, – instead of WHAT? Admitting it’s a sales call and asking me to participate under the appropriate context?  I’d like to send you a 2-minute demo video of Gainsight’s Customer Success Management solution: http://vimeo.com/63709432 – she’d “LIKE” to send me a 2 minute video, NO she already did. It’s the link sitting right here.  She already sent it to me, and by the way, I clicked on it and it IS a sales pitch. She said, she wasn’t going to do that to me. Yes, a demo IS a sales pitch. 

We are VC backed ($9M Series A) by Battery Ventures and our key customers include Marketo, DocuSign, Xactly, Jive, Informatica, YouSendIt, etc. – I don’t give a SHIT if they’re VC backed, have organic growth or if IBM, the Government of China or Jay-Z are their customers.  How does that affect my business and what I do? How do I fit into this equation? She is two paragraphs and 213 words in and I nor my company have entered the equation. Hmm? 

One of our core value props is “Success for All” – well isn’t that a cute “value prop” sounds like everyone gets a participation trophy. It’s sweet and more about them.  and we would like to offer everyone a 1-on-1 with our Customer Success experts – EVERYONE? not just me, but EVERYONE a get’s a 1- on-1 with their Customer Success experts?  Must be more of that “Success for All” value proposition   It feels good to know that I’ve been singled out with EVERYONE to sit with one of their Customer Success Experts. I can only imagine how long the wait will be if EVERYONE is getting this offer. Sounds like the DMV to me.  Ugh!  to simply discuss best practices (reducing churn, structuring your customer-focused team, increasing up-sells, etc). – the only redeeming line in the entire email and I’ll touch on this a little further down in this post. 

Who is the best person to speak with about Customer Success? – What, she doesn’t know?  How much time did she put into this note before she sent it?  Does she even know who I am, or what I do? Does she know ANYTHING about my company? Oh yeah, why did she put this in bold? Let us know if there’s someone else who heads up those efforts. – I suppose I could let her know, shit she’s asked me to do everything else for her upto this point, why not finish up strong and do this last bit of her job for her too. What the hell? I’ll get right on that! 

-Non Sales Person– Thanks Non Sales Person, for NOT sending me an other sales pitch. 

This email is terrible. It’s not honest, it’s one sided and does very little to address the needs of it’s intended audience. I can’t imagine the success of this campaign, but it’s terrible.

If this “non sales person” wants to get me to watch their demo video and wants to engage me in their solution, they have to start by giving NOT taking. There is one one subtle element in this email that this “non sales person” and her company should have focused on to give and not take.  It’s this line: to simply discuss best practices (reducing churn, structuring your customer-focused team, increasing up-sells, etc). 

Instead of all the other “stuff” bordering on insincerity, Gainsight and this “non-salesperson” could have sent me an email with an attached free ebook outlining the challenges, costs, and business impacts of poorly managed churn, up-selling and maintaining a customer focused sales team.  They could have created a written version of what their “Customer Success Team” provides on the phone and used it to teach me something.

This ebook could be packed with financial statistics of what happens when companies don’t properly manage their churn or up-sell environments. It could have included best practices on how to manage churn or improve up-selling. The ebook could teach their target customers a myriad of things regarding churn, up-selling, lost revenue, account management, existing customer revenue growth, customer retention and more.

But they didn’t. They used a cheap email, making untrue claims, asking for my time and offering very little value in exchange.

Don’t make this mistake. I’ve said it a 1000 times on this blog. It’s not about you, it’s about your customer. If you want to make a sale, don’t say it’s not a “sales” call, just don’t make it one. Start with your customers world in mind. Put yourself in their shoes. Teach them something they didn’t know, provide insight, intrigue and information, everything else will take care of itself.

What would you do, if you received an email like this?